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Pass of the cattle in the mist
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|  | La Crofterra Pandemonia 1 and 2 September 2012
Report - Dave Spence. Photos Gary Bates, Dave Spence
They
say Fort William is the rain capital of Scotland, and it certainly
lived up to its reputation in early September. This year’s
Crofterra was intended to follow the west coast of the Scottish
Highlands north of the Great Glen all the way from the Morvern
Peninsula to the remote north west corner of Scotland near Cape Wrath.
For that reason Fort William was chosen as start venue.
As the
majority of the crews converged on the Ben Nevis Hotel on the evening
of the 31st August for the first session of signing-on, the rain was
p***ing down big style, however that would not dampen anyone’s
spirits as the sun was sure to be shining the next day…….
 A
total of 40 crews assembled for the start on Saturday morning –
among them some welcome new faces, including CCHMSC members and
Transalpina veterans Ron Adams and Duncan Massie in the newly
re-engined MGB GT. There were also 2 crews taking part to raise money
for charity, 2 ladies from the MS Therapy Centre in Inverness in a VW
Golf Cabriolet loaned by Hawco of Inverness and Brian Johnstone and big
Jim Brown of Coltness Car Club raising funds for Macmillan Nurses.
There was a great variety of cars too, including an amazing device
called a Pembleton Grasshopper powered by a 750cc V twin Moto-Guzzi
motor cycle engine in the style of a Morgan 3-wheeler belonging to Tom
Rae and Chris Rae. In addition we had 6 Minis, 6 MG’s, 3 Triumphs
(for the first time), 3 Porsches and 3 Rootes Group cars varying from
an Imp to Donald and Margaret Campbell’s 1955 Sunbeam Talbot Mk3.
A single representative of Smart Roadster, Audi Quattro, Ford Victoria,
Clan Crusader and Corvette added to the eclectic mix of vehicles
Charlie
Donaldson and Allan Mackay provided backup/breakdown/refuelling service
in Allan’s ex-German airport fire service LHD Transit van –
their services were much needed later in the day!
Was the sun
shining? – no chance! – it was still chucking it down, but
everyone seemed up for the challenges that lay ahead.
The plan
was to start the first 18 cars at 0830 as they were booked on the 1215
ferry crossing from Mallaig to Armadale on Skye and a second batch
would leave at 0900 to catch the later 1345 ferry. Roddie Main and
myself were this year in Roddie’s Mini Domino, a glass fibre
bodied deseamed, arched Mini basically – we started with the
first batch.
As we headed down Loch Linnhe to the Kingairloch
loop, a very tight twisty 13 mile section in the Morvern area, the
skies brightened and we all thought the weather was at last on the
mend, however it was not to be because as we turned north again from
Salen towards Lochailort and west towards Mallaig and the ferry the
rain returned and the wind blew.
 We
reached the ferry terminal at Mallaig to find several crews there
before us awaiting the arrival of the ferry, and by the time the ferry
arrived we had 27 crews in the queue, including Ian and Hilary Smith
with their Imp which was beginning to show sign of trouble which would
haunt them later on in the day. Angus Beaton’s Midget was also
giving problems with a battery that refused to turn the engine over. As
the ferry began loading, we heard Roy Mcqueen’s
“Rothmans” Escort make the most horrendous clanging as he
attempted to start it – car pushed on to ferry – not good!
The
M.V. Coruisk is not the best vessel in the world for rough seas, being
a flat bottomed ferry designed for fairly calm waters, so the half-hour
crossing was little bit rocky to say the least – did I perhaps
detect a few greenish looking faces???
As the crews headed on to
Skye they tackled another very tight section through Tarskavaig and
Tokavaig before returning to the main road. The road book had stated
“views of the Cuillin Hills from here” – all they
would see was a mass of grey wetness! – Apart from Ian Smith that
is who only saw the view under the bonnet of the Imp – for this
is where it eventually expired … more of this later.
We did not know this, however as we had skipped that section and headed straight to Kyle of Lochalsh and the mainland.
From
Kyle we headed around Loch Carron to tackle the famous Pass of the
Cattle (Bealach na ba) to Applecross. By now our Mini was really
beginning to suffer from the wet stuff on the sparks and the fan belt
was screeching almost continuously, however the time-honoured method of
keeping the pedal flat to the boards saw us to the top with only slight
overheating! The blue MGB of Julie Board and Heather McCue was
stationary at the top of the pass with similar problems, but they were
soon mobile again.
After the customary lunch in the Applecross
Inn we set off north again spluttering and screeching, stopping
periodically to dry things out and top up the radiator. By the time we
reached the overnight stop in Gairloch we were fairly knackered and the
car was sounding fairly rough. We watched with amazement as Scott
McQueen’s green Mini got towed in by a large van, to be followed
a short time later by Ian Smith’s Imp behind Allan and
Charlie’s Transit. Apparently Scott (remember him, the
car-breaker) had blown the diff on the Mini and burst the gearbox
casing, while Ian’s Imp had just lost all power and
wouldn’t climb even the slightest incline. Ian had stayed in the
car as it was being towed on the A-frame – he said he had a most
relaxing time although it was a bit strange being 3ft behind a large
red vehicle hands-off! – I don’t know what he’d have
done if he wanted to stop!
The usual food, drink and raffle,
with prizes kindly donated by Hawkeye (Graeme Finlayson), Ian Smith and
the McCues form Dornoch, took place in the Myrtle Bank Hotel with
the crews retiring at the customary early hour of course!
It was
most depressing to look out on Sunday morning to see the skies still
grey and the wind still blowing, but at least the rain had stopped.
Time to do some car repairs then before the 0930 restart. A dodgy
low-tension coil lead was discovered on our Mini – that
wouldn’t have helped its ability to spark in the rain, and the
fan belt that been screeching all day Saturday was now just about in
shreds. A quick repair to the lead, change of belt and a squirt of WD40
and bingo! – the Mini was back to its full compliment of
cylinders and sounding sweet. Not so Ian Smith’s Imp which
steadfastly refused to start – several “experts” gave
their opinion as to the nature of the fault ranging from a bit missing
from one of the carburettors to the coil to the points to the
condenser. Unfortunately by the time we left to go to the start heads
were still being scratched and the Imp remained immobile.
The
restart took place from the Gairloch Community Centre and we all (bar
the Smith’s and McQueen junior crews) headed away very quietly as
we were right beside the Police Station!
But not for long though
– as we climbed out of Dundonnell we came across the MS
ladies’ borrowed VW stopped in the road and a very shaken looking
crew – apparently they had hit a goat which had run across the
road and broken the plastic front wing and bumper and put a large
hoof-mark in the middle of the bonnet. What happened to the goat you
ask? – It ran away totally unscathed!
The crews then
headed north to Ullapool where the sun actually came out and we had
more-or-less sunny skies for the rest of the day. Then up over the
“Wee Mad Road” from Inverpolly to Inverkirkaig, another
twisty narrow yumpy delight followed almost immediately by the equally
mad Drumbeg to Kylesku section. From what we can gather quite a lot of
crews enjoyed these sections!
The road from Kylesku to
Rhiconich is a superbly engineered double track highway designed to
take 40 tonne fish lorries on their journey to the south and Europe
from the twin fishing ports of Kinlochbervie and Loch Clash, so we made
good time on this stretch and after a nice blast along an open stretch
of single track north of Rhiconich we were soon enjoying a late lunch
at Durness, the most northerly point of our trip with several other
crews.
From Durness we headed along the north coast to Tongue
and then enjoyed a convoy with the Porsche 912 of Paul Farrel, the
Triumph Stag of Paul Billingham and the big Merc 500SL of Grant Meek on
the fine open single track road from Tongue to Lairg.
We stopped
with several crews at the view point at Struie Hill to see if any of
the others would pass us, because basically by then we didn’t
know where we were in the field. Imagine our shock then when we saw
(and heard) the blue and white Imp of Ian Smith roaring up the hill
sounding as sweet as a nut!
Apparently after we left Gairloch
the “experts” had diagnosed a faulty condenser as the cause
of the Imp’s non-running, and Ian had made an arrangement with
Scott McQueen to pick up a condenser when he was towed back to
Inverness with the dead Mini. Scott was to pick up his other Mini (the
red one) and drop off the condenser at Braemore Junction, and Ian would
fit it and all would be well! (hope you are following this)
This
plan worked extremely well to the extent that Ian got a tow to
Braemore, picked up the condenser (left inside a rubber glove nailed to
a fencepost), fitted it and the Imp roared into life – result!
Only problem was – later in the day Scott’s red Mini packed
in with guess what – condenser failure!
So Ian and Hilary
reached Struie under their own steam, having cut out the loop round the
north coast. We had a leisurely run in to the finish at Fairways
Leisure, Inverness where many tales of adventure, breakdowns, near
misses etc etc were told and questions asked (like how did the Ford
Victoria survive the drenching on Suturday with its exposed plug leads
and how did the Corvette negotiate the Wee Mad Road???). But there were
many smiling faces!
The usual buffet and raffle took place and
an auction was held for a photo of a Ford Escort rally car signed by
Stig Blomqvist, which raised close on £500 for Macmillan Nurses.
In the raffle £500 was raised for the Inverness MS Therapy Centre
and a further £500 for Macmillan. The Autovision Trophy for the
crew of the event was presented to Tom Rae and Chris Rae, crew of the
Grasshopper for their sterling efforts in surviving the conditions in a
completely open car with no weather protection whatsoever.
The
verdict on the 2012 Crofterra? Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the
magnificent scenery, the mix of tight sections and open roads, the
sense of adventure, even the extended length of 500 miles and the
horrendous weather on Day 1 adding to the challenge – more of an
expedition than a tour possibly?
La Crofterra Pandemonia will be
back in 2013 with different roads, different challenges and probably a
shorter but hopefully equally enjoyable route.
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| Updated 14 September 2012
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